Yet another Black Gay Jew!
Posted on: May 15, 2012
A while back I heard something that I wanted to shout from the rooftops. A dear friend of mine mentioned in passing that she’d seen my favorite black Jewish rapper, Y-Love, rockin’ out at a gay bar. My eyebrows shot up and a smile spread across my face just as quickly as she told me sternly, “you cannot blog about this.” I promised her that I wouldn’t and have been holding out for the day when the world would know this little nugget of information.
Today is that day.
In an article in OUT Magazine Y-Love tells why he’s waited so long to come out and shares the realization that Gd made him gay and that he’s OK with that.
“My number one priority is to get back into dating. I’m ready to find a husband,” Jordan says. “I’ll be able to have a dating profile and use my real name. I’m ready to live without fear.”
In many ways, Jordan has already come to terms with the Hassidic community he once tried so desperately to cling to. He now calls himself “ex-Hassidic,” having moved out of the Flatbush neighborhood in Brooklyn where he once lived, and he now listens to secular music and appears in public with women. As he admits, “As far as the ultra-Orthodox community is concerned, I won’t be able to return to any type of Jewish observance*.” But Jordan clarifies, it doesn’t mean he’s lost his faith, in fact, he’ll be observing a Jewish holiday next week.”
Thank you, Yitz Jordan, for coming out. It’s an important step for Jews of Color, Jews by Choice and people of color to be able to see one another. Just as Jews come in all hues, we queer folks do too. We love Gd passionately and only Gd knows what’s in our hearts.
Also, Y-Love, please read this blog post and get back to me 
*Correction from Y-LOVE:”I won’t be able to return to any type of Jewish observance WITHOUT BEING TOTALLY TRUTHFUL”
*Twitter Update 5PM Y-Love Just Tweeted :since the @OUTMagazine piece ran today, I’ve lost 15 Facebook friends. shoutout to the 25 of y’all who sent me new requests #FUhaters #gay
*Twitter Update 5:23PM: hehe now that I’m out I can finally retweet stuff from @BlackGayJewish, never did before b/c of search results LOL
Attachment Parenting, Self-Weaning & Other Hippie-Dippy Mommy Stuff
Posted on: May 14, 2012
It’s no secret that I’m ready to have a baby. I’ve got baby on the brain. So much so that I randomly ask male friends of mine if they would be willing to entertain the idea co-parenting with my partner and I.
SCREECH! Hold up, what did I just stumble upon. If that’s what you’re thinking then you didn’t read the name of my blog. It’s a homo blog, a gay blog, a big ole lezzy blog. Oh yeah. It’s also a black blog and a Jewish blog. I talk about Black Gay Jewish stuff. If any of that bothers you, this is where you stop reading.
Hate Breeds Hate & Love Breeds Love?
Posted on: May 13, 2012
People tell me that I must be doing something right if I’m ruffling feathers and the haters come out of the woodwork. I have to agree on some levels, but I don’t want the haters to come out of the woodwork, I want the haters to learn something.
The non-violent stance that Civil Rights era leaders took resulted in many young blacks getting beaten and abused. Many didn’t survive to see the day where blacks were able to vote, attend the schools of their choosing, to see a Black (multiracial) man be elected to President of the United States. When they were spat upon, when dogs were released on them, when cops cracked clubs on their backs like task master’s whips they did not clench their palms into fists to strike back.
It is because of these brave black (and white) organizers that I am the woman that I am. If those heroes had traded their compassion for hatred I may not be here. Through the bigotry of people around them, they fought and we continue to fight today, resisting ignorance and hatred and combating it with love. The Beatles said all you need is love, but I’m not so sure that it’s true. When people write nonsense on my twitter feed, in e-mails, or link my blog to their hatred I don’t feel love, I feel hate. I feel frustration, anger, and pity. I want to reply to their hatred with hate, but think of the people who came before me. Their fight, their blood, their tears are the foundations of my very existence. And while I took it for granted as a child, in my adulthood I know and realize that without those heroes, the very heroes whose shoulders I stand on to this day, I wouldn’t exist and you wouldn’t be reading my words.
The Modesty Question
Posted on: May 12, 2012
Several months ago I asked readers to send me answers to four questions:
How do you {personally} define Modest Dressing?
When did you decide to start dressing modestly?
Do you feel like people perceive you differently because you dress modestly?
How does modest dressing feel for you?
I’m still working on the post, but in the meantime if you’d like to answer the following questions please e-mail your answers to me at blackgayandjewish{at}gmail.com
Black and Jewish?
Posted on: May 11, 2012
I struggle with the idea of who is and who is not Jewish and who gets to say who is or is not Jewish. I struggle with the idea of a Jewish race, Jewish genes, Jewish as a nationality. This struggle comes from learning about peoples around the globe who have been separated from their Jewish identity through forced conversion to Christianity and Islam. It comes from the idea that even though someone identifies and is raised as a Jew their halachic status as a Jew can be challenged by the “powers that be.” I struggle because of the ignorance of Jews and non-Jews alike about who is a Jew based solely on looks which results in people always assuming that I’m a convert because I’m black. Despite all of these struggles, I understand why conversion is necessary, especially in my case. While some people don’t think I’m a real Jew for whatever reasons I know that I am a Jew and that my children will be Jewish because their mother is.
I recently interviewed my friend, Jeff Lieberman, about his upcoming film about Nigerian Jews. I didn’t want to ask him if these Jews were “real” Jews because I found the question hard to swallow. They, the Igbo, believe that they have ancestral Jewish roots that were taken away from them through colonization and forced conversion to Christianity. They feel strongly that they are returning to their roots and have been studying Judaism extensively. Because they feel that their Jewish heritage is something they’re returning to, they don’t feel the need to convert. Henry Louis Gates, Jr has taught me that a large percentage of blacks in the United States have Igbo genes, so does this mean that I could be Jewish? I don’t think so, I was raised Christian and converted to Judaism-it wasn’t something I was born with. But in this case it seems unclear.
Since the infamous Heeb article several weeks ago many of my friends who are JOCs have written in their disappointment and disgust with the lack of research done by Heeb when equating Black Jews to the Hebrew Israelite/Commandment Keeper Communities in North America. The most recent, and most thorough comes from my friend who runs MaNishtana.net. Enjoy.
Now, before we start, I’d like us to chant a little mantra.
You know how a square is a rhombus, but a rhombus is not a square? It’s kinda like that, except the opposite:
Black Jews are not Hebrew-Israelites, and Hebrew-Israelites are not Black Jews. Got that? Great. Repeat it aloud a couple of times. Good? Now add this part to it: Hebrew-Israelites are NOT part of the Black Jewish community. If you hear someone say “the Hebrew-Israelite community” and then they pause and add “the Black Jewish community” as if the two are synonyms for one another? You can stop them right there. Because they are wrong.
Thoroughly. And completely.
Are there Black Jews whose first personal or familial exposure to Judaism was through the Hebrew-Israelite movement? Yes. And Malcolm X’s first exposure to Islam was through the Nation of Islam. And then he went to Mecca and became a real Muslim. Because the Nation of Islam and Five Percenters–while spouting Islamic-ish ideas–are not part of Islam. They are not Muslims. They are Black Nationalism mixed with a dash of Islam. And Hebrew-Israelites are to Judaism what the Nation of Islam/Five Percenters are to Islam.
It’s confusing, I know.
After all, hardly an article written on actual Black Jews can be written without SOME kind of mention of one of the varied Hebrew-Israelite sects, thereby portraying that the two exist in the same sphere. Which they don’t.
Oftentimes, people will trot out Temple Beth-El Church of Gd Saints of Christ of Virginia, Congregation Temple Beth-El of Philadelphia, or, as is all the rage most recently, the Commandment Keepers of Harlem, and paint this picture of them being the introduction of Judaism to African-American folk, valiantly withstanding the battering of the White Jewish community on one side and the non-Jewish Black community on the other while just trying to keep an observant lifestyle. In fact this new film Commandment Keepers by Marlaine Glicksman, “explores the under appreciated–and largely unknown–existence of the only African-American Jewish community in Harlem.”
Ultra-Orthodox Shun Their Own for Reporting Child Sexual Abuse
Posted on: May 10, 2012
From The New York Times
The first shock came when Mordechai Jungreis learned that his mentally disabled teenage son was being molested in a Jewish ritual bathhouse in Brooklyn. The second came after Mr. Jungreis complained, and the man accused of the abuse was arrested.
Old friends started walking stonily past him and his family on the streets of Williamsburg. Their landlord kicked them out of their apartment. Anonymous messages filled their answering machine, cursing Mr. Jungreis for turning in a fellow Jew. And, he said, the mother of a child in a wheelchair confronted Mr. Jungreis’s mother-in-law, saying the same man had molested her son, and she “did not report this crime, so why did your son-in-law have to?”
By cooperating with the police, and speaking out about his son’s abuse, Mr. Jungreis, 38, found himself at the painful forefront of an issue roiling his insular Hasidic community. There have been glimmers of change as a small number of ultra-Orthodox Jews, taking on longstanding religious and cultural norms, have begun to report child sexual abuse accusations against members of their own communities. But those who come forward often encounter intense intimidation from their neighbors and from rabbinical authorities, aimed at pressuring them to drop their cases.
Abuse victims and their families have been expelled from religious schools and synagogues, shunned by fellow ultra-Orthodox Jews and targeted for harassment intended to destroy their businesses. Some victims’ families have been offered money, ostensibly to help pay for therapy for the victims, but also to stop pursuing charges, victims and victims’ advocates said.
“Try living for one day with all the pain I am living with,” Mr. Jungreis, spent and distraught, said recently outside his new apartment on Williamsburg’s outskirts. “Did anybody in the Hasidic community in these two years, in Borough Park, in Flatbush, ever come up and look my son in the eye and tell him a good word? Did anybody take the courage to show him mercy in the street?”
A few blocks away, Pearl Engelman, a 64-year-old great-grandmother, said her community had failed her too. In 2008, her son, Joel, told rabbinical authorities that he had been repeatedly groped as a child by a school official at the United Talmudical Academy in Williamsburg. The school briefly removed the official but denied the accusation. And when Joel turned 23, too old to file charges under the state’s statute of limitations, they returned the man to teaching.
“There is no nice way of saying it,” Mrs. Engelman said. “Our community protects molesters. Other than that, we are wonderful.”
Why Heeb’s Article on Commandment Keepers is Making it Harder to be a Black Jew.
Posted on: May 7, 2012
A few weeks ago I pitched the below to the editor of a popular Jewish website. It didn’t get published so I decided to go with my first instinct (always trust ‘em) and publish it here.
I’m a little frustrated because I wanted this read by a larger and broader Jewish audience. I cherish my blog as a safe-space for JBC and JOCs to read about my experiences as a black, gay Jewish woman. I started writing to chronicle my conversion process and keep writing because I continue to see what can only be described as ignorance when it comes to the wider ethnic varieties of Jews in the U.S. When I write about Judaism and race I often find that my editors (not just this particular website) are hesitant to publish my words. When I wrote “Don’t Call me a Jew” for TribeVibe (the link is dead) I got a lot of push back from my editor. He thought that my words made it sound like Jews were racist, that I was calling Jewish people prejudice, that I would be offending people. Well, I told him, some Jews are prejudice and racist. The piece was watered down and published.
Because my blog is read by folks who are converts, LGBTQ Jews or JOCs it doesn’t reach a lot of “main stream” Jews the way that this particular website does. It’s unfortunate that it didn’t get to be seen by their audience, but I know my readers are great and will spread the word. For me it’s not just about getting published on big-name Jewish websites, it’s about teaching the broader Jewish community about the diversity of Jews. So maybe I don’t make a name for myself, at least I’m sharing my truths.
To be perfectly clear. I am not saying my editor ran away from the piece because of the context-I think she is over-worked and has a lot on her plate.
Israel Independence Day
Posted on: April 26, 2012
My Facebook status today:
When I spent time in Israel in November I struggled-a lot. Our trip leader said something that still resonates with me. I repeat it, in various forms, constantly in my personal life and in my online life. He said, “The opposite of a profound truth can be another profound truth.”
I’m acknowledging Israel Independence Day as a new Jew, as a person who still struggles with Israel, and as a person who hopes to continue to work towards peace for all Israelis and Palestinians.
Before I went to Israel last November I was still pretty caught between worlds. The world of firmly believing that Israel and therefore Israelis were colonists only interested in spreading their white agenda (harsh, I know). And the world firmly believing that the land of Israel/Palestine were divinely given and therefore should be divinely occupied by all three monotheistic religions. Because of this opinion, I felt a deep connection as a former Christian and as a new Jew.
When I got to Israel the battle of the two sides raged continuously. As I trekked through the Negev I kept thinking, I could be walking (or taking a pee) in the very places Abram did thousands of years before. My awe and reverence for the land I stood upon instantly turned into anger and frustration when I saw Bedouin communities (shacks) on the side of the road.
After the trip I was changed. I love Israel and I hate Israel. I think it’s beautiful and I think it’s ugly. I’ve said this before. On today, Israel’s Independence Day, I’m struggling with what this day means to me as a new, American Jew. In the U.S., the idea of fighting for (kicking people out of) land and freedom (while denying others the same freedom) is the stuff of history books. No one alive today knows what it is to fight for freedom on this continent…or do we?
Of course, I could remark that people struggle in the U.S for the everyday freedoms of education, access to healthcare, food, housing. We’re still free to roam around the streets (if you’re not black).
I swear I’m not as bitter/angry as I seem but every time I write one statement, another alternate statement pops into my head which brings me back to the quote I stated this with. I’m holding multiple truths. These truths are valid, they need to be acknowledged, and more than that they need to be seen and heard. I can’t simply hold them, I need to make them real for me. I need to feel what it is to be a Palestinian in Israel just as I need to feel what it is to be an Israeli in Israel just as I need to feel what it is to be a JBC struggling with it all in the United States.
I pray and work for peace in Israel/Palestine now and in the future.
It’s Time to Buckle Down
Posted on: April 25, 2012
For the past few months I’ve been floating between one particular synagogue. I say floating because I actually haven’t been to service in well-over a month. Mainly because of the deep depression I was in (unemployed for 6mos), partially because it’s still a schlep from my house (why are there zero liberal synagogues in BedStuy?), partially because I’m lazy. Despite not being in synagogue on Friday nights I light candles, drink wine, and eat bread either alone in my apartment with my cat or with my lady.
Over the weekend I had an inspiring religious conversation with a perfect stranger. She’s a member of a synagogue I used to frequent last year, Congregation Beth Elohim. CBE is a vibrant community filled with life and energy. I used to visit once a month when Noah Aronson was leading services, but stopped going to attend service at the synagogue I hope to make my own, Kane Street. The draw to CBE when Noah lead service and my draw to Kane Street were the same-the music.
Don’t be So Sensitive
Posted on: April 23, 2012
I love my JOC community. I’m always learning, always experiencing and always appreciative of the people and families who have come before me. Being a Jew of Color isn’t always easy. In fact it can be extremely difficult-especially if you’re in a small community. Finding your footing as a new Jew is hard, but when you’re a new Jew and Black it can be even harder. Which is why I was so disturbed that Aish’s Dear Emuna told a black convert who was experiencing racism and bigotry in her community to careful not to be overly sensitive to racist remarks. Emuna encouraged the girl to ignore racist remarks and tells her, “Finding a good husband is difficult for everyone. It is harder for a convert and even harder for someone in your particular circumstances.” what particular circumstances does she mean? If being black and Jewish is a “circumstance” then it’s clear that simply ignoring ignorance and bigotry isn’t the answer.
What are your thoughts?
My New Obsession
What You’re Saying