a gay black woman's discovery of her jewish self

quick reflections from a kibbutz

Posted on: November 16, 2011

I’m currently in Israel…I don’t even have things to say that are constructive, but here are a few reflections on things that I’ve experienced.

*being here feels conflicted

*i love jerusalem

*i didn’t expect to cry at the wall

*the holocaust museum was difficult for multiple reasons

*i know that i want to come back to this place and stay for a long period of time

*i’ve met some really amazing people who I hope to keep in contact with


2 Responses to "quick reflections from a kibbutz"

I am eager to know what is making you feel conflicted. I know you’ll write all about it when you get back to NY.

I just came across this site somehow. I don’t know why really. I am Multi Ethnic and Gay and Jewish. I understand the need to connect to one’s people and our people come from all over the world. All with different languages and customs and hold our beloved soil somewhere in the crossroads of life. I am held close to my spiritual origins and destination. I can not deny the hatered delivered to my door, my undenying fervor to protect my siblings. I grew up in the Nazi headquarters of the US. Actually an area of affluence where it hid well in the manicured lawns and lingering by the African-American maids uniform. I think the first African -American family moved in around 1982. Of course it was odd the push away from my own people that sadden me with conflict but then and eventual acceptance by other Jews who were different, who did not judge me that gave me a sense of joy. The conflict was external but if I let it that conflict it would devour, it was ready to destroy me and my sacred bond with our G-d as it did so many in my family since I began to learn that my own blood had been shed for centuries. My conflict was why and then to cause conflict with those who dared threaten my family. Now I am thankful we are all out of there going after dreams in S. America, S. Africa and realizing that conflict is always going to be there but it will never control me. I am leaving soon with me mum to France . I will be doing some expiremental sound recordings in caves and sights. Mum will be writing her floetry. It seems that this was last vistied almost two years ago. I don’t know how relevant this is now but peace and love are why we were created. Conflict tossit aside, it will leave and your gifts of love and beauty will abound.

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