Posted on: March 21, 2011
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ
אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הַעוֹלָם
וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה
This Blessing starts off like all Jewish blessings, Blessed are you…The last verse, though, speaks specifically to where I am right now. “…who has enabled us to reach this occasion”. The Shehecheyanu is said on happy occasions, on Holidays and when generally good things happen in a person’s life. Last night I couldn’t remember the entire blessing so silently, in my bed in my new, safe apartment, I thanked God for allowing me to reach this occasion.
I moved this weekend. I have a new website, and I had a huge boost in my writing career by working the Red Carpet at the NYC GLAAD Media awards for a publication I write for, Velvet Park. In addition to that, I feel genuinely happy and safe.
For the past several months my living situation has been what can only be described as sheer hell. I won’t get into specifics but being afraid to enter my home past dark, fearing my neighbors, and the inability to sleep has put stress on my life; personally and professionally. My work environment suffered, my health suffered (I’ve been sick for 3 months), and my writing outside of this blog has been at a standstill. Last night, for the first time I went to sleep and I felt light. I laid in my bed and felt what can only be described as peaceful.
In my opinion, your home is your safe space. In a city as stressful and as ugly as NYC can be (there’s a story there) you need a place you walk into and feel the worries of the city melt away. For the first time in over 6 months I felt that. As I bid the movers adieu and was left in my new space empty except for the mountains of boxes I felt an incredible peace come over my being. I woke up this morning to the sound of rain instead of shouts. I left my building for coffee and someone wished me a good morning and I felt they were being sincere and not ogling my body.
So last night, when I laid in my new place and I thought of the people who helped me get here; my parents, my friends, my partner I thanked God for bringing me to this joyous occasion and blessed his name for allowing me to be here.
I hope you all have a fantastic week!
28 Days until Pesach.