a gay black woman's discovery of her jewish self

Wanna Do Me a Huge Favor?

Posted on: July 2, 2013

Doula <3



Like my doula page on Facebook and follow my doula blog on Blogger.

Here’s why:

I’ve been interested in birth work for a while. As Mirs and I start to think about becoming a family with two-legged children in addition to our four-legged children I started to do more research and learning about birth. You know what? It’s amazing! Women are amazing! Our bodies are amazing!

Wanting to learn more I considered becoming a midwife, but as I’m currently (still) paying off college loans, it seems like an unwise choice to go more into debt to come out on the other side a midwife with excessive debt. Who knows, the loans are down to 4 figures so perhaps in the next few years I’ll rack ’em back up to become a certified nurse midwife. Until then, I’ve become a doula.

A doula, by definition in a servant. Servant-a word I struggled with initially, but in thinking about what exactly a doula does it sort of rings true. Not the go get that for me, do this, do that demeaning type of servitude, but a sort of giving up of oneself for the good of the mother kind of service. After all, a doula may be the only constant in a laboring mother’s birth. Doctors and nurses come and go depending on their shifts and even some midwives in hospitals leave because their shift ends. A doula’s shift doesn’t end until mama and baby are settled. Which means that a doula will be with a mama for ten, twelve, twenty or thirty hours, right by mama’s side, holding her hand, helping her breath, massaging her back, and squeezing her hips.

As a Jewish woman I recognize the special place a doula holds, especially for an observant woman whose husband may not or cannot be by her side throughout the entire birth.

As a lesbian I recognize the special place a doula holds, especially as queer families navigate hospital systems and staffs who are unfamiliar, intolerant, or insensitive to the needs of LGBTQ parents.

So I named my doula practice Kavanah, the Hebrew word that means intention. I’m learning about essential oils and their benefits and have crafted three special pregnancy and birth formulas; Kavanah, Pick Me Up and Root down, I’m signed up for prenatal Yoga classes and am looking into lactation consultant certification. The only thing I’m missing-mamas.

So the favor-Please like my Facebook page and encourage your friends, pregnant or not, Jewish or not, gay or straight and in between to like it too! If you use Gmail/Google please follow my blog. If you’re ¬†on Pinterest, please follow my Doula Page.



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